Thursday, October 27, 2011
Been over a year now.....
.by Jessica LaChance on Monday, February 15, 2010 at 6:13pm.Over a year....
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Life
So, it's been over a year now since my sweet little angel was taken from me and it still hurts.. sometimes even more than it did at first when I was just numb to the world... Getting out of the Army has really opened my eyes. I have to start packing up my belongings to move out of my house and I decided to start with my bubbas room... probably not a good choice since it's the hardest thing i've done since he was taken from me... I feel like I am betraying him.. I feel like i'm killing him all over again just like my therapist said - it's a secondary lost when you pack up their belongings - and it is.. it hits you harder than the initial shock cause you realize he is really gone and is gone for good... My discharge from the Army revolved mostly around the situation with Jacob... They have decided I am not fit to perform my duties for emotional, physical and mental anguish / pain...
Each day that passes seems like an eternity and I long for my precious angel in my arms again... I feel like there is a part of me missing with him gone.. I do not feel complete one bit.. he was the love of my life and the only man I ever needed in my life... Your child is the true meaning of love at first sight and never-ending love cause regardless they will always love you... When Jacob came into my life it was the best moment ever.. I looked at him and at that moment I knew everything was going to be ok... I knew that I would never need anyone but him in my life... even to this day it feels like if I could have him back I would be whole again.. now I don't know if I ever will be... I don't know if that hole will ever be filled...
I am ashamed of the choices I made and I live everyday with it... I am guilty of wanting what I never had.. a chance to know who my birth father was... I could not deny that to my son... I am ashamed that I let him come back into his life.
And Heather I am sure you are going to read this probably so I just want to say that i'm sorry for everything... if he showed any remorse in what happened maybe I wouldn't have such anger towards everyone.. I'm sorry for what your boys are going through and wish that they didn't have to...
I don't know what else to say, the trial is coming up and i'm trying to make it day by day with everything.. I can never forgive or forget what he did... The one thing he always told me was that he would never take Jacob away from me and this is what happens... not only did he take him away from me, he took him away from me forever.. it is the worst feeling ever... it breaks my heart EVERYDAY not coming home to my beautiful little angel... i have this lost feeling and I don't know how to get rid of it........
Well that's all im going to say for now..... i'm so tired of crying....
.by Jessica LaChance on Monday, February 15, 2010 at 6:13pm.Over a year....
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Life
So, it's been over a year now since my sweet little angel was taken from me and it still hurts.. sometimes even more than it did at first when I was just numb to the world... Getting out of the Army has really opened my eyes. I have to start packing up my belongings to move out of my house and I decided to start with my bubbas room... probably not a good choice since it's the hardest thing i've done since he was taken from me... I feel like I am betraying him.. I feel like i'm killing him all over again just like my therapist said - it's a secondary lost when you pack up their belongings - and it is.. it hits you harder than the initial shock cause you realize he is really gone and is gone for good... My discharge from the Army revolved mostly around the situation with Jacob... They have decided I am not fit to perform my duties for emotional, physical and mental anguish / pain...
Each day that passes seems like an eternity and I long for my precious angel in my arms again... I feel like there is a part of me missing with him gone.. I do not feel complete one bit.. he was the love of my life and the only man I ever needed in my life... Your child is the true meaning of love at first sight and never-ending love cause regardless they will always love you... When Jacob came into my life it was the best moment ever.. I looked at him and at that moment I knew everything was going to be ok... I knew that I would never need anyone but him in my life... even to this day it feels like if I could have him back I would be whole again.. now I don't know if I ever will be... I don't know if that hole will ever be filled...
I am ashamed of the choices I made and I live everyday with it... I am guilty of wanting what I never had.. a chance to know who my birth father was... I could not deny that to my son... I am ashamed that I let him come back into his life.
And Heather I am sure you are going to read this probably so I just want to say that i'm sorry for everything... if he showed any remorse in what happened maybe I wouldn't have such anger towards everyone.. I'm sorry for what your boys are going through and wish that they didn't have to...
I don't know what else to say, the trial is coming up and i'm trying to make it day by day with everything.. I can never forgive or forget what he did... The one thing he always told me was that he would never take Jacob away from me and this is what happens... not only did he take him away from me, he took him away from me forever.. it is the worst feeling ever... it breaks my heart EVERYDAY not coming home to my beautiful little angel... i have this lost feeling and I don't know how to get rid of it........
Well that's all im going to say for now..... i'm so tired of crying....
Letter for Erick
.by Jessica LaChance on Tuesday, October 19, 2010 at 8:03pm.
In June 2007 I met a 20 yr old vivacious young woman named Jessica LaChance. She was a Soldier and she was pregnant.
From the moment Jess found out she was pregnant, she was happy. She was prepared for the challenge of being a single parent and doing her Duty to her Country.
Jacob Alexander LaChance came into our lives at 5:53 am on December 25th, 2007. A Christmas baby. For Jess, it was the greatest day of her life. From the very moment Jacob was born, he was a very alert baby. The first picture of Jess and Jacob together, his eyes are wide open and he's looking into his mother's eyes. In that brief moment, you could feel the love she had for what we called our little man-man.
Jacob was an extremely happy baby from day one. He always had a smile for everyone. When I would take him to see Jess at work, he always drew a crowd. Everyone fell in love with him at first sight. He brought joy to Jess and her family. You see, out of 9 grandchildren, he was the first and only grandson born into her family.
Jess was a great mother. She ALWAYS put Jacob and his needs first. No matter if I kept him or he went to daycare and I picked him up, she always came straight to my house after work to be with him. When she had to go to the field for training, she would IM me when she had free time so I could turn on the webcam so she could talk to him. His face would just light up when he saw her on the screen.
Wednesday November 5th, 2008 was the worst day of our lives. That was the day I had to take my godson to the emergency room. Jess called me as I was parking, asking me what was going on. I could hear the worry and fear in her voice. Scared, because she didn't know what was wrong with her child. Her precious gift. I had no answers.
Jess stayed at the hospital with Jacob. She never left his side. She read to him, talked to him. Always touching him, letting him know she was there. His room was always full of the people whose lives he had touched. When she couldn't read anymore, someone would take over. She never lost hope. Hope that he would recover. Hope that she could take him home and watch him grow up.
But on November 8th, Jacob lost the greatest fight of his short life. The fight for his life. Jacob was just over 10 months old. He had just started standing on his own. Taking his first tentative steps. Jacob's mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and we, his godparents will never get to see all of his firsts. His first day of school. His first date. His first of many girlfriends. His first school dance. We'll never see him graduate High School. Go to college. Get married. Jess won't get to see his first child, her grandchild. All of that was taken from her.
Nothing has seemed to go right for Jess since Jacob's death. Jess was Medically Retired from the Army, because her Command decided that she was no longer fit for Duty. She would sit in her office at work and just cry. Knowing that she didn't have Jacob to go home to at the end of the day. Restless nights, where she would not be able to sleep. I know, because I would sit online and talk to her. For Jess, every day is a struggle to get out of bed and face people. She had to move back home and try to start her life all over again as a civilian. Learn how to keep her emotions at bay when she was and is around children. Because she misses her precious little boy. From the time she gets up, until she goes to sleep, she thinks about him and what could have been and will never be.
Erick, do you remember what you said, sitting on my front porch, in June 2007 when you brought Jess to my house and numerous times, in my livingroom after Jacob was born??????????? You said you would never hurt her and take him away from her.
.by Jessica LaChance on Tuesday, October 19, 2010 at 8:03pm.
In June 2007 I met a 20 yr old vivacious young woman named Jessica LaChance. She was a Soldier and she was pregnant.
From the moment Jess found out she was pregnant, she was happy. She was prepared for the challenge of being a single parent and doing her Duty to her Country.
Jacob Alexander LaChance came into our lives at 5:53 am on December 25th, 2007. A Christmas baby. For Jess, it was the greatest day of her life. From the very moment Jacob was born, he was a very alert baby. The first picture of Jess and Jacob together, his eyes are wide open and he's looking into his mother's eyes. In that brief moment, you could feel the love she had for what we called our little man-man.
Jacob was an extremely happy baby from day one. He always had a smile for everyone. When I would take him to see Jess at work, he always drew a crowd. Everyone fell in love with him at first sight. He brought joy to Jess and her family. You see, out of 9 grandchildren, he was the first and only grandson born into her family.
Jess was a great mother. She ALWAYS put Jacob and his needs first. No matter if I kept him or he went to daycare and I picked him up, she always came straight to my house after work to be with him. When she had to go to the field for training, she would IM me when she had free time so I could turn on the webcam so she could talk to him. His face would just light up when he saw her on the screen.
Wednesday November 5th, 2008 was the worst day of our lives. That was the day I had to take my godson to the emergency room. Jess called me as I was parking, asking me what was going on. I could hear the worry and fear in her voice. Scared, because she didn't know what was wrong with her child. Her precious gift. I had no answers.
Jess stayed at the hospital with Jacob. She never left his side. She read to him, talked to him. Always touching him, letting him know she was there. His room was always full of the people whose lives he had touched. When she couldn't read anymore, someone would take over. She never lost hope. Hope that he would recover. Hope that she could take him home and watch him grow up.
But on November 8th, Jacob lost the greatest fight of his short life. The fight for his life. Jacob was just over 10 months old. He had just started standing on his own. Taking his first tentative steps. Jacob's mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and we, his godparents will never get to see all of his firsts. His first day of school. His first date. His first of many girlfriends. His first school dance. We'll never see him graduate High School. Go to college. Get married. Jess won't get to see his first child, her grandchild. All of that was taken from her.
Nothing has seemed to go right for Jess since Jacob's death. Jess was Medically Retired from the Army, because her Command decided that she was no longer fit for Duty. She would sit in her office at work and just cry. Knowing that she didn't have Jacob to go home to at the end of the day. Restless nights, where she would not be able to sleep. I know, because I would sit online and talk to her. For Jess, every day is a struggle to get out of bed and face people. She had to move back home and try to start her life all over again as a civilian. Learn how to keep her emotions at bay when she was and is around children. Because she misses her precious little boy. From the time she gets up, until she goes to sleep, she thinks about him and what could have been and will never be.
Erick, do you remember what you said, sitting on my front porch, in June 2007 when you brought Jess to my house and numerous times, in my livingroom after Jacob was born??????????? You said you would never hurt her and take him away from her.
Father Charged In Death Of His Son, Mother Speaks Out
Father Charged In Death Of His Son, Mother Speaks Out
By KTSM News
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 - 12:31am
A 23 year-old man has been arrested by El Paso Police after they say he murdered his 10 month old son.
10-month-old Jacob died this weekend after spending several days in critical condition at Thomason Hospital.
His mother was not home at the time of the alleged incident, in which, police say Jacob's father caused the injuries that led to the boy's death. Police have now charged 23-year-old Erick Aguilera with capital murder.
Court documents obtained by News Channel 9 claim Aguilera admitted to shaking and dropping the child while in the shower.
Jacob's mother spoke exclusively Monday with News Channel 9. She says she wants everyone to know what a happy child he was and how painful this ordeal has been.
Aguilera is being held at the El Paso County Jail.
By KTSM News
Tuesday, November 11, 2008 - 12:31am
A 23 year-old man has been arrested by El Paso Police after they say he murdered his 10 month old son.
10-month-old Jacob died this weekend after spending several days in critical condition at Thomason Hospital.
His mother was not home at the time of the alleged incident, in which, police say Jacob's father caused the injuries that led to the boy's death. Police have now charged 23-year-old Erick Aguilera with capital murder.
Court documents obtained by News Channel 9 claim Aguilera admitted to shaking and dropping the child while in the shower.
Jacob's mother spoke exclusively Monday with News Channel 9. She says she wants everyone to know what a happy child he was and how painful this ordeal has been.
Aguilera is being held at the El Paso County Jail.
Baby in Critical Condition
Baby in Critical Condition
By KTSM News
Friday, November 7, 2008 - 11:45pm
A 10-month old is in critical condition tonight and his father is behind bars.
A police complaint form says 23 year old Erick Aguilera was showering with the infant Wednesday morning when the baby started crying. The complaint form says Aguilera shook the baby, the baby slipped out of his arms and hit the wall and shower floor. He was unresponsive and admitted to the hospital.
By KTSM News
Friday, November 7, 2008 - 11:45pm
A 10-month old is in critical condition tonight and his father is behind bars.
A police complaint form says 23 year old Erick Aguilera was showering with the infant Wednesday morning when the baby started crying. The complaint form says Aguilera shook the baby, the baby slipped out of his arms and hit the wall and shower floor. He was unresponsive and admitted to the hospital.
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